Live for today

It is so hard to believe it's already April, the weeks go by so fast... It feels like just yesterday I was in ICU at FGH. My what a long way I've come. Since June 13, since the New Year, Hell, since last month. Of course, day to day, it's difficult to see progress. But stepping back to look at the big picture, Im astonished and very proud. Lately I have been working on my triceps and already I can lift my arm higher than I could a few weeks ago.

Now, in addition to having a PT come to my house to train me on different exercises, I have begun going to Ocean Springs to attend outpatient rehab 3x a week. This past Friday was my first official appointment and boy did I get a work out! I started with respiratory therapy, since my lungs are not back up to par, which is completely my fault for not keeping up with my breathing exercises like I should (but now I will), I still exceeded expectations. Next, I was transferred to the mat where I worked on triceps and trunk control; sat unsupported using my arms as props; and was placed on my stomach where I used my upper arms to do a push-up like motion. Needless to say, before the night was over, I was feeling the burn- and it felt good.

As far as the Bioness go, I am awaiting approval from Medicaid to have occupational therapy. Until then, my $14,000 paperweights sit in their cases, still in their original packaging from the distributor. Sometime this week we will find out if I have been approved or not for OT, if not vocational rehab will supposedly pay for the OT sessions to allow my mother and me to be properly trained on how to operate the Bioness. As you can imagine, Im very anxious. Although I have learned many ways to adapt, to regain use of my hands and fingers would be overcoming a major obstacle I look forward to.

Yesterday I started a new muscle relaxer. Previously I was on Baclofen, and had been since August, which by now the effects had greatly worn off. The new one I began is much more potent, and while it controls my spasms, it leaves me a little loopy in the process. I sincerely hope that soon the side effects will subside so I can continue to progress without feeling like a zombie.

I'll leave this update with a realization that's been on my mind for a few days...
If I had known then what I know now, my entire life, and the people in it, would have been completely different. But that's not the way the world works. There's no use crying over a broken neck. You can't always control what happens to you, nor how people close to you react, but you can control how you handle each and every situation. You learn to adapt and improvise. The longer you hold on to the past, the harder it hurts. You can't always fix your mistakes, but you can know better for next time. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never promised. Live for yourself today.