Since there are those of you who follow me on my blog and not on Facebook, it has been quite an exciting week! First I will mention the Southern Belle fundraiser. As I previously said, the success was phenomenal! Our final count turned out to be 1,271 shirts!! Although we originally intended to fax the order last Monday, it was not placed until Friday due to late orders trickling in all week. This was such a big order that Southern Belle even had to order more supplies when we told them how many we would need. I am also happy to announce our T-shirt is one of Southern Belle’s top-selling shirts! We ask for your patience as we wait 2-3 weeks for this large second order (1,041 shirts!). If you are an early bird and got your order turned in by May 2nd then Laura has either already contacted you or, if it is being shipped, it is in route as we speak. The first order could not have come in at better timing! Yesterday morning (Friday), Doug Walker from WLOX came to my house to interview Laura, my mother and myself. It aired on the 6:00 news last night and already our numbers have drastically jumped. Laura and I both wore our shirts with pride for the segment which turned out to be the best thing we could have done. Between Laura and myself, we have gotten tons requests about how to purchase a shirt. Because of this, we have decided to put the order form back up by the end of this weekend. I do not know the turn-in date for this order yet, but it will of course be posted on the resource page and the Facebook page once we have all the details sorted out. Please keep in mind we are not professionals, everyone who has been so graciously helping me are volunteers and have lives of their own. We try to respond to everyone as quickly as possible, but please keep this in mind if it takes us a while. If you are interested in ordering shirt, you may sign up for the e-mail list. As soon as we start taking more orders you will be immediately notified. You may register here:
I continue to find myself blessed to be considered an inspiration to people, especially those who have never met me. Of course I have my bad days as well, but for the most part I have the attitude of “I will beat this!” but it has definitely been a roller coaster. It would not be normal for me to be positive and upbeat all the time, but when I find myself feeling down and throwing a pity party, I remind myself of all the blessings I have. I remind myself it could have been so much worse. I remind myself I have friends and family who are there for me, who love and support me. I remind myself that everything happens for a reason, that we may not understand it for a long, long time. When you find yourself in these situations, whatever the reason may be for your heartache or pain, you must take things into perspective. Think about those who are not as fortunate as you. I rarely find a situation where I cannot say “well, things could be much worse!” There have been many bumps in my road, when in the hospital it always seemed like two steps forward, three steps back. And though sometimes that would discourage me, at least it was not only backward steps. I truly believe in this quote and try to live by it daily, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” While you cannot control some people or situations, they cannot control you either. Only you can decide how to deal with tough situations and no one can take that from you. Like my shirts says… Will you say “why me?” or “try me!” I challenge you all to grab the bull by the horns and hold on- it’s going to be a rough, but fun, ride.
You can check out both my stories from WLOX and WGUD below!
I apologize for the lack of updates over the last couple of weeks, things have been quite crazy and hectic- overwhelming to say the least. Between Mother’s Day, fundraisers, benefits, outpatient therapy and daily life, it feels like my mind never finds the rare moment of rest. Before I get into this entry I want to briefly talk about why I began this blog. It began as a continuation of my CaringBridge Journal which my sister, Kristen, consistently updated during my four months in the hospital/rehab. Family, friends and people I’ve never even met followed me on my journey of recovery. Once I was back at home, I took the responsibility of updating people of my recovery myself. I decided to close the CaringBridge chapter, of the updates when my family did not know what was going to happen next; what my fate was to be; scary and sad moments that are far behind me. This blog was to start a new chapter of my journey. My recovery in my own words. Far away from ventilators, feeding tubes and pressure sores. Originally, my purpose of this blog was simply to update people of my progress, but as time has gone on, it has evolved into so much more. With this blog I aim to not only update people of new and exciting things happening in my recovery, but also to inspire others while continuing to be inspired; relate with those also in my situation; provide insight to the daily life of a person with a spinal cord injury; vent my aggression and express my concerns. While you may not agree or understand everything I say, I just ask for you to respect it. With that being said, let me jump into what has been going on in these last couple of weeks…
Although the Southern Belle fundraiser was to be completed Monday (5/16) we still have people calling trying to turn in orders. While we do not want to turn anyone away, at some point we have to stop postponing the order. The success of this fundraiser is phenomenal. I do not have a definite number for you yet, every time I ask Laura it has gone up, but it is definitely safe to say it is in the four digits. When we first began on this journey we thought how amazing it would be to sell 100 shirts. Needless to say, our success has been 10x that. Laura has truly been like an angel. Without ever having met me, she started and coordinated this entire fundraiser. Of course, neither Laura or I could have done this without the help of our new friend Brad Martin. Brad has not only publicized my story through WHIL, but has taken it upon himself to create and be the administrator of www.rehabforkaty.formyfriends.org. He has also been a big part of the behind-the-scenes organization with the T-shirt fundraiser. Sometimes, in today’s seemingly immoral society, you lose faith in mankind. Being a person with a spinal injury you definitely confront discrimination and prejudice. You realize how many people do not provide handicap accessibility. You instantly notice people of all classes and ages stare at you like you are sickly and if they get too close they’ll catch your disability. And God forbid if I have a muscle spasm. But since starting my Facebook page, the overwhelming amount of support and prayers from across the world has given me a new confidence that I thought I lost. Laura and Brad, I know you’re both reading this, your unselfish kindness has impacted my life more than I can ever express and for that I’m forever indebted to each of you. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, this accident and events following has forever changed who I am. Prior to my injury I was “going nowhere fast.” Today, I have a sense of peace I never had before that hot June afternoon. Like my dear friend Karen Skeen said about herself, I also believe the same about me- “I have been a better person on 4 wheels than I ever was on my 2 feet” (though technically I am on 6 wheels). I am not going to lie, the situation is not a walk in the park by any means, but through it all I have realized my true inner strength. I have a new favorite quote that I truly believe summarizes everything I just said, “tough situations do not last, but tough people do.”
On another note, aside from the Southern Belle fundraiser there’ve been many other individuals who have taken it upon themselves to help raise money for me to go back to rehab. This past Saturday (5/14) a local band, Now or Never, organized a concert benefit in my honor at a local bar called Thunders Tavern. There were a few activities happening along the coast simultaneously, such as the Gulfport Music Festival and Smoking the Sound, but despite that it was a decent turnout. I was able to attend with my sister and a group of friends- it was quite the experience! In other fundraising news, Act Natural Photography in Hurley, MS, is currently looking for people interested in an Independence Day themed photo shoot. All proceeds would go towards helping me back into rehab. Anyone interested may find the business on Facebook at ActNaturalPhotography or visit http://actnaturalphotography.net. Also, Thirty-One Gifts by Brittany McKeel currently has a fundraiser going on until Tuesday, May 31st. Her store is located in Ocean Springs, MS, so if you decide to order and you are not local, please arrange to have it shipped directly to you. Her products are absolutely adorable, they include but are not limited to: totes, purses, bags, wallets, stationary and much more. If you are interested, please visit her site at http://www.mythirtyone.com/BrittanyMcKeel/. In addition, Pamela Roberts Glenn with Designs by Pam has recently begun selling insulated tumblers. They sell for $13, plus a $5 shipping charge if you are not local. The deadline to order is Wednesday, June 1st. To find out more about the tumblers, log onto Facebook and search DesignsbyPam.
Last but not least, there is currently a River Run being organized for July 9th. It will be hosted by Sea Dawgs in Moss Point, MS. Let me briefly try to describe what exactly a River Run is as best as I can. - You can participate by boat or by car. It is like a poker game- You pay $50 for a ticket, you may have as many people as you want on a ticket, and if you win, the cash prize would be split between how many people are on that ticket. You will travel to each fishing camp where somebody will be waiting to pass out a card. This is not a race, so take your time, enjoy the weather, kick back and relax. It will end at Sea Dawgs in Moss Point. The person with the best hand will win a $500 cash prize. In addition, we are working on getting bands and musicians, arts and craft vendors, and food donations to have outside of Sea Dawgs throughout the day. If you or anyone you know would be interested, please get in touch with me ASAP at Katy.Blake@ymail.com. You can also find the event page on Facebook simply by searching for “Katy Blake River Run.” This is where all new and immediate details will be promptly posted.
I would like to take a minute to talk about the multiple fundraisers that have been going on. The Help Katy Back to Rehab Facebook page was originally created to bring awareness and publicize my story. All of the people who have coordinated these fundraisers have done so on their own accord, on their own time and energy. I am extremely grateful for each and every person who not only organized, but to all those who are participating in helping me get back to inpatient rehabilitation. I have a slight concern about people being bombarded with so many fundraising options happening all at once. Like I said, the creation of the Facebook page was for awareness, and while I am forever indebted to all those helping me fundraise, it was not my original intention. It is important to me that everyone knows how extremely grateful I am. A friend of mine said it best and I will use his quote now to end this topic, “I am looking for a hand up, not a handout.”
I have recently gained more media coverage as well. Last Friday I did an interview for WGUD, a local station here in Pascagoula. It will air tonight after 5 PM on channel 19. We do not know a specific time, so my mother has set the DVR recorder to tape between 5-11. Tomorrow I will skim through it and try to find my segment. Hopefully WGUD will allow me permission to post it online for those of you who are not local or who do not regularly watch channel 19. However, if they do not, then no worries. Doug Walker of WLOX is coming to my home Friday morning to interview me. This is the next step of generating more interest towards my story, the story of keeping great determination to overcome my obstacles and how I am using social media to spread awareness. As soon as I know when it will air, the time will be posted on Facebook. In addition, I will also ask their permission to post it online for those of you who are not local.
Friday will also prove to be an interesting day because my mother and I have a meeting that afternoon with the Mississippi Department of Rehabilitation and Vocational Rehab all at the same time. The frustrations of our state programs and lack of communications between agencies is a whole other blog entry entirely. Just the thought of talking about it right now upsets me. But needless to say, Medicaid is absolutely ridiculous and I sincerely hope to expose that in the WLOX interview. I will dedicate another day to talking about the different departments in which we’ve had to contact each one to find out about different programs they offer. But in a nutshell, the meeting Friday will be about what I qualify for and how to get my full Medicaid benefits back. Once I have my full Medicaid, when the new fiscal year begins in July, I will be allotted another 30 days of inpatient care, that includes hospitalization or rehabilitation. I sincerely hope not to be hospitalized for any reason because I intend to use all 30 days for rehab. All of the money that has been donated and raised will also be used to buy extra time at rehab.
And finally, if you have stuck with me this far you deserve to know the most exciting news of all. The Sigma Nu chapter at Ole Miss has an annual philanthropy called the Charity Bowl. Each year in March, they host a Charity Bowl intramural where all the proceeds from ad sales, ticket sales, T-shirt sales, and a bid from the opposing fraternity will go towards the most deserving recipient who has been afflicted with paralysis. I am very honored and excited to tell you I will be the 2012 beneficiary of the Sigma Nu Charity Bowl. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for how thankful I am to have been chosen. Because of this, and the multiple fundraisers that are currently and in the process of happening, it looks like my dream of going to The Shepherd Center next year may come true after all. May God bless each and every one of you who has made this possible for me. Let me be proof you should never give up, no matter how big the goal you never know what can happen if you don’t try. While it has been almost a year since my accident, this is still just the very beginning of my journey.
Let me begin by giving you the latest updates before jumping into the deeper part of this blog entry. This past Sunday The Mississippi Press ran an article about my story. If you have not already seen this, here is the link: http://blog.gulflive.com/mississippi-press-news/2011/05/post_42.html. We considered ourselves very lucky to have it run on a Sunday and on the front page of the local section of the paper. Laura’s phone has been ringing off the hook, bless her heart! The band benefit at Thunders Tavern here in Pascagoula, originally scheduled for May 14, has been postponed. That is the same weekend of the Gulfport Music Festival and we are trying to find a weekend that is free from any holiday or events. WLOX has expressed interest in covering my story; however, I believe this has been delayed by the tornado devastation and the killing of Osama bin Laden. I have been contacted by a freelance writer for CBS and by the medical reporter for WWL out of New Orleans. I have no further details on either of those leads, just that initial contact has been made, but once I have more concrete details they will be broadcasted. In the meantime, I hope and pray that it all works out. In addition, Laura made contact with the Director of Marketing for the Southern Belle Corporation. They have also expressed interest in covering my story for their newsletter. Speaking of Southern Belle, the T-shirt fundraiser has been phenomenal! This past Thursday, we made a rash decision to do a partial order on Monday (yesterday). In just those three days we collected 227 shirt orders!! When Laura and I first started discussing this fundraiser, we were excited about just selling 100 shirts. It has truly gone above and beyond anything either of us expected. We decided to make the partial order to help lessen the workload of having all their shirts come in at once and having to organize, store and distribute such a mass order. We also hope that once more people see the shirts around town they will want to order some. The deadline for the next order is May 15. If there is still enough interest and demand after the 15th, we will definitely consider doing a third order but we must have at least 50 to do so. Just a reminder- to all my new chair-friendly friends, if you decide to order one make sure you specify you want a front design. All of the information can of course be found at www.rehabforkaty.formyfriends.org.
Today I would like to talk about the five stages of grief (some people say five, some people say seven, I grouped some of mine together- so it's five.) Before I dive into that, I want to discuss myself for a moment. My goodness how cocky that sounds! But I suppose it is my blog and you are already here, so you might as well read. I have never been very good at describing myself; especially when it came to things like the Facebook profile. How to sum up your personality in a certain number of words? I pretty much consider myself an open book, you ask and I'll tell you how it is. Since starting my Help Katy to Rehab page, my friends list has increased by almost 200 people. I started thinking maybe perhaps I should figure out something to write in my info besides “bomb diggity.” Apparently, bomb diggity does not give a clear description of who I am. Despite the trouble I've previously had, when I decided to change it, it almost came naturally. It now says this: “June 13, 2010, I was injured at a diving accident leaving me an incomplete quadriplegic. I fractured my C-5, meaning I'm paralyzed from the chest down. It was a true blessing in disguise. Who you are is not based on physical capabilities; it is your heart and your soul. I am a very strong and determined person to overcome any obstacles life decides to throw my way. Sense of humor is a must, you almost need it just to survive ( or at least to stay sane ) I live without regrets, I learn from my mistakes, I tell people what I think and I love with all my heart. Never said I was perfect, never pretended to be, and never expect it of anybody else. If you remember nothing else, remember this: Count your blessings and not your problems.” And if that does not give you a good sense of who I am, just watch my latest bloopers video on YouTube. I will attach at the bottom of the entry for your convenience.. ;)
Now, onto the five stages of grief… I've said it many times and I'll say it again, I am a human being. Although I really believe I've handle my situation with great strength and grace, I have had my bad days. I've cried, gotten angry, broken down and thought it was all over. We all must release these emotions to start the healing process of whatever despairing situation we find ourselves in. From day one, I kept the smile on my face, even with the trache my throat, deep down knowing it could only go up from here. Shortly after the heavy meds wore off in the hospital (once I got past thinking the nursing staff was trying to kill me-yes, it is true I did, but that is another story entirely) my mother explained to me I would go through the stages of grief just as I did after my father passed away. The first thing I thought was ‘uh oh’- my dad died when I was only 11. I really could not process it at the time and it haunted me until I finally broke down a year or 2 later. I did not cope with it in the same way that I did my injury- which is a good thing. If I had handled my injury the same way I did his passing, I would still be in denial. Alas, it was from the death of my father I learned how to cope with emotionally distressed situations. Like I've said before, everything happens for a reason. Of course I wish there was some way to change what happened to him and for him to still be here, but I do not think I would be nearly as strong if that were the case. Onto the first stage-
Stage I: Shock and denial
When my friends were pulling me out of the water I kept exclaiming to my friend, “I cannot be paralyzed, it cannot be true, I just cannot be paralyzed.” She tried to reassure me, and I think herself, by telling me maybe it was just a pinched nerve. Although as soon as I hit bottom and my body went numb I knew, I kept trying to convince myself otherwise. Maybe it was just a pinched nerve, surely in a few hours I would regain all the feeling back. Even after two weeks in the hospital, when I was finally starting to remember everything, once I realized I had full sensation down to my toes I started to believe I would walk out of there. I thought “Pssh.. This doctor doesn’t know who I am or what he is talking about.” It almost seemed like a dream, I had this crazy thought in my head I was invincible and nothing like this could happen to me. Well, as we all know, I was wrong. It seemed like the end of the world but little did I know it was just the beginning.
Stage II: Pain and guilt
As the weeks went on and the shock started to wear off, the pain and guilt began to settle in. I won't lie, I love being the center of attention… I mean come on, I am the baby of seven children- what do you expect, really? But when I realized that my mom was living out in a motorhome in the Forrest General Hospital parking lot (for those who did not know, I was two hours away from my hometown Pascagoula), I felt horrible. Not to mention my hometown family and friends traveling 2 to 3 times a week to come see me. Thinking of the gas prices, the time it took and the effort made me feel worse than the actual physical pain of the injury. I hated having to ask my family to walk across the room to bring me a drink when I was thirsty, much less been traveling 100 miles just to see me 5x a day for 30 min. at a time. I felt like it was my entire fault that my mom had to go from our wonderful home in Pascagoula to staying in a motorhome in a hospital parking lot. After her time in a FEMA trailer after Katrina, I knew this was her nightmare. Now, of course, I realize this is what family is for and my family is very special.
Stage III: Anger and bargaining
This was a tough phase for me. Once I began the process the magnitude of my situation, I kept replaying the accident in my head, not to mention the countless nightmares that followed. This is something I have not spoken of much but I feel like, for my own personal growth, that I must. As I've stated before, a friend and I were horseplaying before running to the water. What caused me to run to the water was the fact my friend decided to spit on me which disgusted me. I wanted to wash off as quickly as possible and of course you know how that resulted. It was really hard not to be angry, I kept thinking to myself, “Well, if that had not happened, I would not have dove into the water.” But in the end, we all make our own decisions. I think what finally clicked and helped to dissolve my anger was realizing this: I would rather be the one hurt then the one feeling guilty for hurting another. I don't blame him for what happened. In fact, it was he that finally pulled me out of the water so he technically saved my life. Had he not pulled me up, I felt like my lungs were to explode at any second. How can I be angry at the person who pulled me out? Forgiveness has a powerful effect and once you learn to do so, you’ll find yourself a lot happier in life. Enough about anger lets discuss bargaining. I distinctly remember getting my MRI. I must have still been coming down from the heavy drugs because I believed that I was going to die in that machine. In my mind, I kept seeing a bright light that I was fighting to stay away from. Before the accident, I was not super religious. I believed there was a God, but did not understand why he had put me in so many tough situations from such a young age. I now believe it was to prepare me for my current situation, my greatest obstacle yet. During my MRI I pleaded with him, promising to change my life if he would just save me. You may think I'm crazy, and who knows I just may be, drugs or not, that night in the machine I saw my dad talking to God and asking him to spare me. I may not be walking (yet) but I am still alive, I did not suffer a traumatic brain injury, I have full sensation and have progressed farther than doctors expected. That night in the MRI machine changed my life, for I truly believe God answered my prayers.
Stage IV: Depression, reflection and loneliness
During my four months in the hospital, I was constantly surrounded by new friends, old friends, family and medical staff. In fact, I still talk to many of my therapist, nurses and nurse aides. When I finally returned home to Pascagoula on October 5, all of that changed. Whereas before I was surrounded by different people, all day every day, I suddenly found myself with only a handful of people to physically interact with. Most of my hometown friends are off at college or in their careers and have moved away from Pascagoula, so other than my family I really only had two good friends in my town. This was when I encountered the loneliness. Sure, I had Facebook and text message but that does not replace face-to-face social interaction. Coming home I also discover the depression. While in the hospital and rehab I felt very normal in my situation- there were others like me, nurses knew how to take care of me and the buildings were accommodated for me. When I finally got home, it seemed like I suddenly realized my disabilities. I could not get into the comfortable chaise I loved to lounge in; there was to be no more sitting at the bar while my mom worked in the kitchen; and getting in the whirlpool bathtub was out of the question. To see all the things that I previously loved and enjoyed made me realize how little I could do with my new disability. I would sit in the sun room and stare out at the gorgeous day, wishing I could just put my feet in the grass or plant flowers in the garden. Knowing that I would not be doing any of these things any time soon severely depressed me. While at FGH they had prescribed me the antidepressant Lexapro. Now I am going to try and carefully word this so not to offend anybody, I know there is such thing as a chemical imbalance that causes depression. But my own personal train of thought is mind over matter, I did not believe I needed to be on antidepressants and although I expressed this to both doctors at FGH and Methodist, they did not attempt to take me off of it. So after arriving home, despite the depression and loneliness I was feeling, I weaned myself off Lexapro. There was no magic cure or drug to fix how I felt after coming home; all it took was some time to adjust. Thankfully, this stage did not last for long.
Stage V: Acceptance and hope
After a month or two of being released into the “real world” it became easier to accept my disability. In the hospital it was so easy because everybody knew what they were doing, I knew what to expect, everything was accommodated for me, and I felt normal being amongst other spinal cord injuries. Going out in the public heighten my anxiety. What would people think when they saw me? I did not want people to feel sorry or pity towards me, but I knew if the roles were reversed and they were my friend, I would feel sorry for them. I know now when people stare it is more because they are curious about what happened. Today, I have accepted and embraced my disability. Anybody who knows me knows I joke about it more and more every day. It is my way of putting other people at ease, as well as providing a chuckle. What gave me my hope back is the success of the Help Katy Back to Rehab Facebook fan page. It has been three weeks today that the page was created and I am very close to 2000 followers. So many exciting things are happening so quickly that it's almost hard for me to keep up. But to have complete strangers reach out to me, to offer their own time and effort to help someone they've never met, has restored my hope and joy. Like I said before, I consider myself an open book. If by sharing my story and my experiences I have the power to inspire others or to stop someone from making a mistake, then in the end it will all be worth it.
This is quite a long one. As always, thanks for your continued interest and support in my recovery. I would not be this far without it. Like I said in my Facebook bio, count your blessings and not your problems, so here is to counting mine:
I am blessed to be alive; to not have a traumatic brain injury; to not have a complete or a higher level of spinal cord injury; to have progressed further than originally predicted; to have had a great team of doctors, nurses, nurse aides, and therapists to take care of me; to have a wonderful family and group of friends that love me no matter what; to have a fantastic new group of Facebook friends also in wheelchairs for peer support; to have complete strangers reach out to me and help me in my time of need; and blessed to continue to be inspired and inspire others.
Let me begin by apologizing for any typos- I am somewhat exhausted, short on time and using Dragon Dictation that sometimes jarbles my thick southern accent!
I hope everybody had a fantastic Easter! Personally, it has been a very busy couple of days! Saturday, I had some friends over where we spent many hours playing trivia game called ‘You Don't Know Jack' on the Wii. It was a blast! I was feeling good and smart winning a lot of games until that night when my brother, Kenny, came over and dominated me on the game. He's successfully deflated my ego! On Sunday, my family gathered at my sisters for Easter brunch, despite the fact it was after 1:00 PM! Between two of my sisters, I have four nephews and two nieces between the ages of 5 and 11; needless to say, family gatherings are usually energetic and loud and Easter proves to be no different! After brunch, we had an Easter egg hunt for the children, which was really fun. When I was a child, we had candy in our Easter eggs, but now it is money and candy! I wanted to hunt for eggs myself! I was told if I could reach them, I could keep them. How hilariously cruel is that?! After all the Easter festivities, the children were dying to get in the pool across the street and my aunt and uncle's house. By that point, we were exhausted and decided to call it a day… Besides, I had to challenge Kenny to a rematch to the trivia game on the Wii. Finally after three games, I won one and that was all I needed. You have to understand, Kenny beats me at anything trivia related so to win one was quite the accomplishment! Sunday night I needed to get to bed early because Monday morning we were leaving early to go to Methodist to see my urologist.
As much as I love to go and visit with everybody, seven hour round trip in the car makes for a very long and exhausting day. A few weeks ago, I was having complications with my bladder medicine. Unfortunately, I cannot see just any old urologist; they must be specialized to in spinal cord injury patients. Luckily, I was referred to a doctor down here for future issues. My medicine was increased because of bladder spasms and my doctor spoke to me about considering bladder augmentation. As of right now, every 4 to 6 hours I have to get back in bed to catheterize. You can probably imagine how big of a pain this is! I have to schedule my whole day around it, not to mention the process of getting in the Hoyer lift to get in and out of bed. A bladder augmentation would enlarge my bladder to enable me to hold more liquid. In addition, he wants me to consider a procedure that would allow me to catheterize through my appendix. I know this sounds quite odd, when he first mentioned it to me I thought I misheard him. After getting advice from another female quadriplegic, I realized how much independence this would really give me! Not only would I be able to do it myself but I would not even have to get out of my chair. This will also cut down on the number of possible infections you can acquire from in and out catheterizer. They recommend you wait until at least a year post injury for this surgery, so it won't be anytime soon. Apparently, the recovery is pretty harsh, but I know if I have already overcome this much so I know I can push through that too!
As of this moment, Tuesday, April 26, at almost 5:00, I have about 1700 followers on www.facebook.com/rehabforkaty page. The response has truly been phenomenal! The Southern Belle T-shirt fundraiser has gone above and beyond anything I expected. We have even sold a shirt in Boston, Mass.! The deadline is Sunday, May 15; please keep in mind if you are mailing your order to calculate enough time for its arrival. Mailing out on May 10 should allow enough time. Laura, the fundraiser coordinator, will place the order with Southern Belle Monday, May 16. It will take about three weeks for the shirts to arrive. I asked everybody to please be patient, this will be a very large order that Laura, and people who have volunteered to help, will have to organize and sort out in order to distribute. When it becomes closer to the time of arrival, we will post all the details on the Facebook page. I believe at the moment we are considering having a large pickup date at the Beach Park in Pascagoula. Keep in mind if you are doing a group order form, YOU, the seller, are completely responsible for picking up your bulk order and distributing them to the right people. We are trying to make this process as simple as possible and appreciate the cooperation. The order forms can be found at www.rehabforkaty.formyfriends.org, along with links to my radio interviews, YouTube channel, and PayPal donations. Also, Saturday, May 14, there is going to be a benefit at Thunder's Tavern in Pascagoula. At the moment, all I know is that it begins at 12 PM, catfish plates will be served, the pool and patio will be open, and so far there are four bands scheduled to perform. As soon as I know more details you will too. Another positive thing that has come out of the Facebook page has been meeting other female quadriplegic's who I can talk to. It seems like here on the Gulf coast it is an ‘all boys club’ and while I have no shame, I just find it easier to talk to other girls. You can never have too much peer support.
Speaking of peer support, I was contacted by LIFE of Mississippi. LIFE is an organization that helps people with their disabilities. The nearest location is in Biloxi and in a couple weeks somebody will come to my home to meet with me and assess what I need. They will match me with somebody with a similar injury for peer support and inform me on participating in recreational activities. Apparently, they just recently had a basketball and tennis clinic. I would love to be a part of wheelchair sports! That is part of the reason I am very anxious to get a manual chair. I do not care that I will probably not be any good due to lack of triceps; it will still be a lot of fun! It will also be great to interact with other people with spinal cord injury who have been dealing with it a lot longer than I have. The person I am paired with will also help me to learn how to do self transfers- that will be a major hurdle!! I cannot even explain the excitement or how much independence it will really give me. Once I am able to transfer myself, I no longer have to worry about keeping my mother up late at night and, are you ready for this, think about modifying a vehicle for me to drive!! What a fantastic (and maybe scary) day that will be!! I know it is a long way in the future, but with how fast these 11 months have gone by already, I am sure it will be here in no time.
In my last blog, I mentioned getting the ball rolling with the Disability Rights of Mississippi. It was my advocate who contacted LIFE to contact me. She will also contact the Department of Rehabilitation to make sure I am accepted for the waiver program. The process will probably take a couple months, but it is better than none at all! I also contacted the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, GA, to find out more information on what I need to do to be able to attend their program. It turns out they do accept Mississippi Medicaid, but also mentioned it was one of the hardest states to get approval. As of right now, I still have limited benefits and though I know nothing will happen for a while, at least contact has been made. It is going to be quite a lengthy process and I am going to fight it till the very end! There is no excuse for me not to have full benefits! The lady I spoke with at Shepherd also mentioned loopholes and a scholarship program so I will keep my fingers crossed!
To wrap this up, in case you do not follow the Facebook page, I had a follow-up segment with WHIL 91.3 out of Mobile, AL. If you missed it, you can hear it at www.rehabforkaty.formfriends.org, towards the bottom of the page. I also had a short interview with Magic 93.7, we are still waiting on the audio file and once we receive it, it will also go on the resource page. There is a new YouTube video explaining my Bioness exercises, hopefully I will post another video before the week is over. And stay tuned because this Thursday, the Mississippi Press will be doing an interview with me as well. As soon as it is posted online, we will of course link it to the resource page, the Facebook page, and I will post it on this blog. I think I just about covered everything! Thanks again for your continued support and interest in my recovery. God bless!
ps- here are a couple photos of my therapists and me yesterday at Methodist Rehab
Michael, my physical therapist.
Courtney, my recreational therapist and Candace, my occupational therapist.
I have been on the computer since 9:30 this morning. While it feels like I haven't done much, I suppose I really did get a lot accomplished. A few days ago, I contacted who I consider to be my mentor at Methodist rehab and asked her if she knew of any resources and/or people I should contact. She wrote a fantastic e-mail on my behalf and sent it to Disability Rights of Mississippi. This morning, I received a phone call from a lady who works there. For those who didn't know, I am on “limited” Medicaid, which makes absolutely no sense. The state programs concerning Medicaid, Mississippi Department of Rehabilitation, Vocational Rehab, and Life of Mississippi do not work together. You must individually call each program to sign up and find out what they can do for you. They make the system so confusing. Today I learned about a waiver program. Having a spinal cord injury, I automatically qualify for this program. HOWEVER, despite the fact I am eligible, I must call my counselor and request to be on the waiver list. Now why, when I'm automatically eligible, must I specifically request for the assistance? I was not informed of this until today, nearly 11 months after my accident. The Mississippi waiver program will provide me with the personal care attendant, which will greatly help my mother in taking care of me. In addition, once I am placed on the waiver list I automatically receive full Medicaid benefits. With full Medicaid benefits, I am granted another 30 days of inpatient rehab in July. This is like a dream come true. However, if I am to walk again- while 30 days is great- it is still not enough. I e-mailed the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, which is one of the top 10 rehabilitation centers in the country, requesting information about admissions and any financial assistance programs. Mississippi Methodist was a little over $15,000 a week, so I cannot imagine the cost of Shepherd. Walking again, though, is priceless.
So that was a big chunk of my day today. In other news news, the philanthropy of the Sigma Nu chapter at Ole Miss is paralysis. Each year they have a big charity to raise funds for a beneficiary who is most deserving. Today I had to write my story basically selling myself and why they should choose me. The deadline is Friday and I have no idea when I will hear back. It would be absolutely amazing if I got this. On top of other fundraisers and benefits, this could really help me towards my goal of going back to inpatient rehab. Speaking of other fundraisers, the Southern Belle T-shirts sale has been absolutely amazing! If you're unfamiliar with this fundraiser, please visit http://www.rehabforkaty.formyfriends.orgfor all the details. So far, we have sold over 100 shirts! The deadline will be May 15. That same weekend there is to be a band benefit at Thunder's Tavern in Pascagoula. I do not have many of the details yet but as soon as I do they will be made available. Media wise, things are also moving along. 91.3 WHIL out of Mobile, AL, did an excellent radio interview with me which can also be found at the above link. I also finally posted a YouTube video and hope to follow-through with many more. To watch the video, please visit http://www.youtube.com/user/RehabForKaty. In addition, Walter Brown of 93.7 will have me on his show Friday morning, April 22, between 8-9:30AM. And finally, WLOX will be doing a story on how social media has affected your life that is set to air the last week of May. I will be one of a few who has an interview for this particular topic.
It has only been eight days since I started http://www.facebook.com/RehabforKaty and the response been truly amazing, almost overwhelming. We are almost at 1600 followers and I could not have asked for more. I'm so full of hope for things to come. To be honest, even if I had the option to go back to June 13 and change it all, I would not. I have learned more about myself, my relationships with others- who would stay by my side and who cannot handle it- I have grown closer to my family, and my relationship to God, my faith has been restored and I would not trade that for anything. I count my blessings each and every day. It is so important to be thankful for what you have, for without my family or my friends, I do not know where I would be today. Again, I thank you all for your support and prayers. Miracles do happen, and I will be one of them!
This may be quite lengthy, but I'm going to treat this entry like it is my first, as I anticipate many new readers coming from my Help Katy back to Rehab Facebook page. It is a very detailed account of my story. Hopefully, my whimsical wording will keep you entertained enough until the end. I'd like to begin by thanking each and every one of you for your interest, support, kind words, and prayers. Without such a great family, friends and strong support system, I would not be nearly as far along. With that being said, let me take you back 10 months ago to the day of the accident.
It was a hot June day and finally the weekend I've been looking for to have arrived. A year prior, I made a rash decision to move to New Orleans, LA, leaving behind my best friends and people I considered family. This canoe trip was a group of 15-20 Olive Garden coworkers/friends, many I had not seen for over six months. Despite the fact I had been counting down the days, when Saturday, June 12, finally arrived, I felt funny. Not ha ha or he he- just like something was amiss, yet I could not put my finger on it. For a split second I debated on not going, simply because I worked as a waitress, usually 40+ hours a week, and still living from shift to shift. Regardless of my financial situation I decided I needed a break and left for Hattiesburg. I enjoyed a quiet evening with close friends and went to bed early knowing the next day would be a long hot day out in the sun.
Up until the time of the accident, the day had been perfect. We had been taking our time at Little Black Creek, slowly making our way towards the rope swing at the end. We docked off at a point called “The Gator Hole” so we could cut into a watermelon and rest up a little before the last leg of the trip. There was a large sandbar and a drop-off point, meaning where we parked our canoes was about 2-3 foot deep and then drastically dropped to 6-8 feet deep. I plopped down in the sand about 20 feet from the water with a small group of friends. The next thing you know a friend and I began running towards the creek to jump in. When I saw people shoulder deep in the water I assumed they were afloat; however, before I realized they were sitting in the shallow end, it was too late. Mid-air I knew. As soon as I hit bottom my whole body instantly went numb while I remained conscious. It was undoubtedly the scariest moment of my life. While my mind ran 1,000 miles a second, my body lay still face down in the creek. I knew my friends knowing me would think I was being the jokester I so commonly came off as. I immediately begin praying that someone would pull me up in time. After what seemed like an eternity, when I thought my lungs could take no more, a friend pulled me out. It was not until the moment I was able to speak that my friends knew something was wrong. They carried me to sandbar and stabilize my neck. At one point, I had convinced myself it was just the pinched nerve and not wanting to ruin the trip for everybody told my friends to just put me in the canoe and keep on going. Luckily, they knew better. Park Rangers were stationed along the Creek and fortunately one close by saw what had happened and reached us within minutes. Although inside I was scared and panicking on the outside I remain calm, cool and collected. I relayed all the information they needed to know to contact my family and before you knew it there was a helicopter to airlift me to Forrest General Hospital. Soon enough, I was surrounded by doctors and retelling my story of what had happened. After x-rays and a CAT scan, my doctor said I immediately needed surgery for my c5 spinal cord had been severed and they needed to remove the fragments. This would be my last memory for the next two weeks.
When I finally came to, two weeks later, I was flabbergasted by everything. It turns out I had been on a drug called Versed which does not allow you to make memories. My family began to fill me in on the events of the last two weeks, they had come from the coast, along with many family friends, loved ones and people I've never even met to come and show their support and pray for me. I learned that I've had pneumonia in my lungs, placed on a breathing tube that I kept trying to pull out, and although I could not remember the last two weeks, I had been awake and always kept a smile on my face, unable to speak but expressing my emotions through my eyes. By the time I could remember, they had done a tracheotomy to help me breathe, however, meaning I could not talk-one of the worst things you could do to me! Not that it stopped me; I ran my mouth a mile a minute and people just had to learn how to lip read. At this point, I cannot move my arms pass my biceps nor did the doctors think I ever would. These doctors don't know Katy Blake. I spent a little over four weeks in ICU, I never stopped waving around my arms as much as possible to regain my muscle and I never stopped smiling. By the time I moved into a room on the sixth floor, I was able to at least scratch my nose. My right arm, which is my dominant, progressed three times as fast as my left. I spent one weekend out of ICU before horrible Monday when a mucous plug caused my breathing to almost stop and resulted in a code blue. On top of this, my neck brace which was promised to come off had been put back on for an additional month. It was not over yet. During the next two weeks back in ICU, I became extremely stick. Unable to eat and running a high fever, I went from a healthy 135 pounds to 110 pounds. It was soon discovered that my feeding tube was not properly sealed and emergency surgery would be needed. After these two weeks, I was finally back on the sixth floor for good, little did I know the length of time I would be there. While in ICU, I had developed a pressure sore on my backside that refuses to heal. Because of this I had to stay in the hospital for another five weeks before minor skin flap was done to make it heal.
Finally, September 5th, I was ready to go to Mississippi Methodist Rehabilitation Center. Mississippi Medicaid was granting me a mere two weeks of rehab. I have had Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance my entire life prior to the 10 months before the accident.My mother had been put on Medicare and could no longer afford my insurance payments. As much determination that I had mentally, the first two weeks I was not able to physically push myself as much as I wanted. After being bedridden for three months, the pain of reusing and regaining my muscles deterred me from making much progress. The entire staff of an MMRC had been talking to me about vocational rehab. Now, you would think in the state programs you sign up once and it distributes to all the disabled programs in Mississippi. This is very far from true. At the last minute we applied for vocational rehab. In order to qualify you must be able to be rehabilitated enough to be a functional member of society. And to the surprise of everyone at an MMRC I was denied. Let this be a lesson, you don't poke the bear. Long story short, many phone calls later, my angry mother had gotten me vocational rehab and the night before I was supposed to leave, I was granted another two weeks of rehab. I put forth 110% of my effort and strength in order to strengthen and be able to adapt my new lifestyle. In the four weeks at rehab I learned to feed myself, put my shirt over my head, paint, play the Wii (which is a great workout), put makeup on the right side of my face, and learn the tools I needed to be able to use the computer and my cell phone. During the last couple of days of rehab I was finally strong enough to be able to try and stand, however, lack of time prevented me from doing so.
Upon arriving home in Pascagoula, I began outpatient therapy at Singing River Hospital. Despite my determination, I was unable to work as hard as I wanted due to lack of proper equipment for spinal cord injury. After the New Year rolled around we had to reapply for Medicaid in which I was denied. All therapy came to a stop and my prescription medication tripled in price. We have learned this lesson once, don't poke the bear. A long and frustrating to and a half months later, I was granted limited Medicaid. While it covers my prescriptions and general doctor visits, it does not include dental, vision, etc. nor any additional rehab. During this time, things seemed so bleak yet there were a few happy moments. Vocational rehab purchased two Bioness hand units, at $6500 a pop this never would've been possible otherwise. The Bioness stimulates the muscles in my hand to open and close, allowing me to use them in normal everyday functions and eventually retraining those muscles to do so on their own. About a month ago I began outpatient therapy in Ocean Springs. They have been very hands on and working with me very diligently. As wonderful as it has been, six hours a week of therapy cannot compare to the six hours a day of the inpatient facility. Without the proper equipment and therapist my recovery can only go so far.
From day one, I never felt sorry for myself. Even as a child I always remember believing mind over matter. With hard work, determination, and a positive attitude you can achieve anything you put your mind to. The first time I cried in the hospital was when my family read my Caring Bridge posts. The overwhelming support and love from people I knew to people I've never met was incredible. I felt like the entire world was behind me. God truly answers prayers and he was very busy in June 2010! Regardless of my situation I felt like I was invincible. Miracles happen every day and I intend to be one. I know I will walk again if I get the proper rehab. But let it be known if I never make it back to inpatient rehabilitation I am forever grateful to just be alive and inspiration to others. My injury could have been so much worse, it could have been complete, it could have been a c1-c4, or it could have been a brain injury. I have always believed everything happens for a reason though we may not know it for quite some time. I feel like I was forced to grow up fast- I lost my father at age 11, dealt with people close to me having addictions problems, suffered many heart aches, began working at age 14 and moved out on my own at 18. Looking back, it seems like all my trials and tribulations were making me stronger in getting me ready to deal with the greatest obstacle of my life. I live without regrets and I learn from my mistakes. Life is a beautiful thing many of us take for granted and many of us do not realize it until it is too late. I am not perfect, never pretended to be and never will be. But I'm honest with myself and others and believe there is good in everybody. I always tried to live my life by the Golden rule “Treat others as you would have them treat you.” I always believed in karma and now it seems like it is coming full circle. All the years I put others before myself and now people are selflessly reaching out to help me. May I spend my whole life returning the favor. Once again, thank you for reading and supporting me and God bless.
